Roanoke Church of Christ

Bulletins

“NEW LIFE” BULLETIN – VOL. 26, NO. 23&24 – HOW IT ALL HAPPENED

Disclaimer: I do believe in an old, very, very old, earth, and I don’t take the story of Eden literally. So don’t get all bent out of shape with what I’m about to write. Okey? It’s just for fun about a great wonder.

Once upon a time, well, actually there was no time because there was no galaxy with a sun or anything. But out in “space,” that’s what we call it, something happened. Out of all the nothing of space, some elements or something, got together and it wasn’t a happy joining, or maybe it was. There was a big explosion. Sometimes called the Big Bang.

Blown out into space, particles which had gathered to cause this explosion, somehow, stuck together, at least to some extent. For some amazing reason, this space stuff went out from the biggest piece and lined up and started what we call, our galaxy. Among those “flung out” hunks of matter, one of them, just like momma bear’s chair, landed just right. What we call atmosphere developed because of this “just rightness.” And it too was just right.

As it’s told, the most important (to us) stuff was under water. How long before water, well a million years or so, but they were not years because, you know, no one was here to invent a calendar. (Just to make things easier, whenever a million years or so is needed, I’ll just write “yada yada”)

Water finally got here, and it seems the really good stuff was in the water. Down in the deep darkness of the water, one leftover element from the explosion pumped up against something, and liked the way it felt. Although it really had no feelings, yet. But these two (or three, or more) developed into something more than was before. And yada yada, something bigger and better evolved. Maybe it was something like the consistency of a jellyfish. Whatever. But in yada yada it became an oyster, or something. Feeling confined without much ability to move around, yada yada, it became a crab. Now, not all oysters wanted to travel, so they stayed around to become oyster stew.

Yada yada, we’re not sure how they, you know, bred, or how some were considered male or female. Some folks supposedly in the know, say sexual orientation came from being exposed to certain elements, like heat. So, when you’re hot you’re hot and when you’re not you’re not. That must have been confusing. Imagine what some of those first offspring looked like! “He takes after your side of evolution!” There may have been some kind of natural selection to decide which sex was which, except for the earthworm, who, to this day, is both male and female. Talk about the height of Narcissism!

I’ve strayed from the yada yada. The crabs, or something that came from them, or something they came from, decided to peek out of the water. They didn’t stay long, it was hot and there was nothing that looked good to eat. They didn’t know that in yada yada some other leftover stuff would start vegetation. With the passing of another yada yada, some of those water creatures started staying on land longer and enjoying a good salad. After a yada yada, they liked it so much they never even thought of returning to the water. Why all of the water creatures stayed in the water, is a mystery, at least to some.

Maybe it was the droppings of the sea/land creatures that caused the vegetation to yada yada and get so tall some of the land/crab creatures had to grow really big. Again, one can only imagine what a cross between a crab and a flying fish looked like, but with yada yada, something we call a dinosaur was born, maybe little at first, but with yada yada, really big!

Some other mixed up stuff from the sea, or land, or both, didn’t feel good about themselves and started hanging out with different species. Since no human(?) was there, and yada yada, we can only imagine what those crossed-up creatures looked like. It actually may be a good thing no cameras were invented yet, because seeing great-great (yada yada) grandpa slithering out of the primal ooze could be disheartening. Or finding out grandma (yada yada) was a descendant of what became the black widow spider clan. Not good.

With yada yada, the four legged creatures who gave up their fins and gills, and maybe their six or eight legs, (unless they were centipedes) made a lot of changes. Big things found it better to get smaller. In yada yada, what we call horses decide to become dogs, or it may have been the other way around, because, you know, no one was there with a drawing pad.

Some four legged creatures with an identity crisis, decided to become part of what we call the “cat” family. There is some evidence, turned in by cats, that it was the other way around. Whatever, they both yada yaded.

It was probably the flying fish who with yada yada, became birds. Imagine what that first brood looked like! Only a Mother could love. There may have been dissatisfaction, or maybe climate change, but, you know, no one was there etc., etc. Maybe some flying fish/birds went through a change during yada yada. So we have all these flying things we call “birds.” There are even some who still like to swim and dip under water. The lucky ones became eagles.

Maybe after four or five yada yadas, at least one four legged creature wondered what it would be like to move about primarily on the rear legs. No longer liking scales or feathers, hair grew to shield it from the big hot thing in the sky. After yada yada, it seems this creature developed more than just a survival instinct. They started to think, even though they didn’t know it was thinking. That would come yada yada .

In yada yada, what we call humans came along. Some of the other hairy two legged creatures liked it where they were, and stayed the same. The humanoids grew and changed, but even the yada yada couldn’t take dominance away from one of that species. That’s why it’s called “Mother Earth” and “Mother Nature.” That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.
Keith

CONCERNS: Alan Beach had a checkup last week and things are good. Joni’s dad is having some issues but had a good checkup. Her uncle, William Voss, was in a serious car accident and has a long recovery ahead. Erma Williams’ cousin, Eleanor Bresee, has stage four ovarian cancer. She has started chemotherapy and will have surgery in nine weeks. Del Bolin’s mother is recovering from broken ribs. Betty Foy’s sister, Sue Huels; Leena Bolin’s brother, Nick is recovering from knee replacement. Mary, a friend of Kim (Hall) has advanced Parkinson’s disease. Martha Foy asks prayers for Gil Richardson and Sandra Anderson. Susan and Wayne Phlegar were able to be with us last Sunday. Susan is scheduled for back surgery in July. Remember also Rich Crites, Jim Hunter, The Overstreets, Deana McRoy, Stephanie Rigney, Marge Greenwood and Sharon. Also Jenni Cullum, Helen Nicklas, Tim Elder, Mary Smith, Mrs Matara, Mildred Horne and her family; Todd Baumgardner, dialysis. And Brenda, a friend of Melisha Scruggs.

OUR DAILY BREAD: JUNE 16-21
Monday: II Thessalonians 1:2-12
Tuesday: Matthew 1:18-20
Wednesday: John 2:1-11
Thursday: I Thessalonians 1:2-10
Friday: II Timothy 2:1-13
Saturday: Isaiah 40:1-11
OUT DAILY BREAD: JUNE 23-28
Monday: Exodus 1:15 – 2:10
Tuesday: Mark 1:16-34
Wednesday: Genesis 17:1-21
Thursday: Job 42:1-13
Friday: Luke 4:1-13
Saturday: Psalm 63:1-11

THE REST ROOM
According to the contractor the renovated upstairs cry room/handicapped rest room should be finished by today. (Let’s hope!) Even if it isn’t, stop by and take a look at how nice it will be.
SUPER SUNDAY
Today, June 15 is Super Sunday. It is also Father’s Day. So take dad out to eat here at church.
STEERING COMMITTEE MEETING
Since today is Father’s Day, the steering committee will only meet if Mike Branch wants to bring them up to speed on the restroom progress, or if there is another matter that needs attention.
NEW DIRECTORY
Next Sunday cards will be passed out asking for current information for the new directory. These cards will be kept in the office in order to provide a quick reference about ways in which you are willing to serve in various ways. Ben Robertson also has a file. This will be for the office. Please fill out all that is relevant and lay it on the foyer table
Note: the directory is a list of those people who worship here whenever they do. It is not a “Membership” directory. It is a convenient way to stay in touch.
As soon as the information is gathered, pictures will be taken.
HELP
For some time now we have picked up the unused bread from Panera Bread and delivered it to the Rescue Mission. It is picked up on Thursday evening just before closing, which is 10:00 PM. The bread is then taken to the Mission on Friday or Saturday.
Erma Williams and Susan Jordan have been doing this and they need help. If you can’t deliver the bread, but can pick it up and then bring it to church on Sunday, someone who goes toward the Mission on Sunday can deliver it.
See Erma or Susan about signing up to do this.
STARTING JULY FIRST
Starting July first the communion service will be before the sermon. This change will enable those who may have to leave early to share in the Lord’s Supper.
There will also be a change in the way the contribution will be collected.. Bear with us while these changes take place.

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