Roanoke Church of Christ

Bulletins

PLANNING THE SUMMIT – “NEW LIFE” BULLETIN

(The following is email intercepted by Heaven Wide Security. How they reached me via the deep state is a matter of world-wide security requirements.)

Dear Beevil,
It has been several years since we had a summit on how the thing called Facebook has helped our cause. That being the case, the Great One says it’s time for those of us in the higher levels of our government to come together to review and plan for future.
The summit has been set for September of this year. The exact date will be forthcoming. It will be on the island of Banaba, which is part of Kiribati of the Gilbert Islands. Banaba has a population of about 300 or so. It is also on the equator, which offers those of us from the underworld, so to speak, a place of comfort while we work.
What I need from you is a report from your section of the underworld as to how well our work is doing on Facebook in your part of North and South America.
I would’ve called, but there are no longer any secure lines. Even this secure email is subject to hacking by those who seek to limit our influence.
You will also notice I am using a new code name. It is always important to keep changing your code name, and I would advise you to do the same.
Please respond as soon as possible.
El Lobos

Great El Lobos,
I am happy to say that since our last communication our work on Facebook has outperformed our wildest expectations! Now we have Twitter to add to that as well!
As you know, email worked well for it’s time. Facebook has surpassed that by far. Did you hear about the Russians? They used Facebook (and Mark Zuckerburg) to influence the elections in the United States!
All they had to do was buy space and then put out anything they wanted people to believe! No one seemed to know it was the Russians, nor thought to investigate. As you know, if it looks believable, those who want to believe it, will. In fact, it works so well that the fact-checking sites are doubted. People post things about who is checking the fact-checkers! So as long as the fact-checkers are not believed, we are in business!
As we have known since the beginning of time, humans are self-serving before anything else. Remember the Eden story? As long as they can find anything which will support their preconceived, prejudicial self-serving ideas, we win. Facebook has become the Garden of Eden for us.
You need to read some of the evil, ugly and nasty responses to about any and all posts. Some posters will go on and on. It’s easy to see how, if they were face to face, it would turn violent. In fact such violence has increased. Others seem to use it to vent their wicked side. Which, of course, makes us winners.
Facebook has given humans a place to express the very worst of humanity while being unexposed. They use this thing called “hash tag” to hide their identity. They seem to have no idea we know who they are. Of course, our adversary, you-know-who knows what they say as well. But it doesn’t seem to bother them, even the ones who use their own names, or refer to themselves as “Christians.” It’s as if they are in another world.
Now, Twitter is another thing. It allows people to communicate with their followers almost instantly.
What we’ve found is that the time telling others your thoughts and activities consumes an astounding amount of time. We have even begun to see Twitter addiction.
I would invite you to come above before the summit and see for yourself. Go into any home or public place and people who could be talking to each other are looking at some form of electronic device! This has become a virtual gold mine for us!
In closing, it seems that the Russian thing has caused Zuckerburg and others to try to tighten their security. Good luck! We will always find a way to bring out the evil in people.
Your always obedient and faithful servant,
Beevil
PS. Next time I will be El-Toro

Dear El-Toro,
What a good name for you! Now, I want you to hack these Facebook and Twitter accounts for me. Coded: vxctqu, pnutzj, 8s7gcvx, talp666n. Send them ASAP!
I look forward to seeing you at the summit. By the way, how is the little woman and all the little devils? I wish the summit could be a little vacation for all of the Devils family, but we have to remain as inconspicuous as possible. We will be going as archaeologists.
Until then,
EL-Lobos

THOSE TO SERVE IN JUNE
Announcements: Martha Albert
Serve Communion: James Downing
Megan Downing
Carson McRoy
Connie Crites
Usher: John Bolin
Communion Care: Susan Phlegar
Singing: Scripture:
3-Scott Blessing Judy McWhorter
10-Alan Beach Mark McRoy
17-Karen Branch Steve Gaynor
24-Del Bolin Holly Wagner
Communion: Nursery:
3-Wayne Flora Susan Phlegar
10-Abraham Sirgy Megan Downing
17-Scott Blessing Holly Wagner
24-Mike Branch Alisa Flora
If you can’t serve call Erma Williams
JUNE BIRTHDAYS
13-Michael Branch 13-Susan Jordan
21-Wayne Flora 23-Betty Billings
29-Joni Beach

CONCERNS: Judy Hall is recovering at home and has been able to attend services. Matha Foy’s brother and Larry’s son, Richard Foy is struggling with Chrone’s disease, and may require surgery. Deanna McRoy has been declared cancer free at this time. However, her cancer is aggressive and has returned before. Debbie McRoy’s sister-in law, Ellen Tidwell has a spot on her lung which is being monitored. Lilly, a double lung transplant due to CF, is in UVA Med Center. Keep Joni and Alan Beach’s parents, as well as Del Bolin’s mother and Teryn Gaynor’s mother and step-father in prayer. A friend of Leena Bolin also needs prayer for strength to cope, as does Steve Fox, a recently retired minister in WV known to Keith and others of this congregation. Sheila Jansen’s daughter, Amber Weaver, remains the same. She is paralyzed and unable to move or speak. Also Marjorie Wilson, Melanie Gentry, Wayne Phlegar, Gil Richardson, Jamie Cole, Ray and Darnel Barns, Jim and Mary Smith and Tim Elder.

RETURNING
Since we have had to say goodbye to so many people over the last few years, it is exciting to announce that Stephanie Dixon is returning to Roanoke after spending about two years in Florida. She has a nursing job at the Glebe in Daleville. She plans to be in Roanoke in a week or so. When she arrives she will need help unloading the truck. More information on the time and place will be announced.

NEEDS A RIDE
A woman who lives at the Stratford Apartment on Brandon Ave,. Would like to come to services here. She does not have a car so she needs a ride to the worship service.
If you come that way just for worship, talk to Keith. Her name is Susan Kelly. Her Phone number is 540-355-6318.

WEDNESDAY EVENING
For those of you who attend on Wednesday evening, it has been discussed that the “soup supper” before the class be discontinued. It can work a hardship on those who travel farther to get here. However, if enough of the class wishes to continue we will.
If enough are there this Wednesday we will try to make a decision.
While the Sunday evening storms caused flooding in the Cave Spring area, as far as we know, none of our members had any more than some water which leaked into their basements.

AWAY
Mike and Karen Branch are away, as are the Beach’s and Erma Williams. It was good to see Scott Blessing and the family able to be with us last Sunday.

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