Roanoke Church of Christ


When Your Freudian Slips

New Life Bulletin ~ 6/20/21

I received a publication published by a group of churches in the Carolinas. The front-page article caught my eye. It was on modest dress, naturally, for women. The article didn’t surprise me, but some of the comments were, to me, rather shocking. 

The author states, “Ladies, speaking as a man, I can tell you how difficult it can be to avoid lusting after women who aren’t my wife when most of them show off their cleavage and thighs.” I’ll get back to that.

 Then he refers to the taking of the cruise ship, Santa Maria in 1967. He says the women on board went out of their way to hide their bikinis and put on modest clothing to keep them from being raped. He adds, “They knew exactly what skimpy clothing would cause men to desire.” I’ll get back to that.

 He tells of reading a sociologist’s interview with some young men, one of which “expressed deep anger and resentment towards women for ‘sexually teasing’ him” by “what they wore and acted around him, only to later have the power to, with the threat of an accusation of rape deny him the fulfillment of those urges.” (Bold and italics mine kw)           

Another guy talked about “the power they <women> have to deny him the satisfaction of those urges.” Another said he wanted to “get back” at such women.

 Near the end of the article the author writes, “Our sons would go through puberty without being bombarded with sexual temptation by the female skin they see all around them, only to be denied (again, my emphasis kw) fulfillment and thus grow more and more angry and resentful towards women in general.” What? 

Now, first of all, I’m shocked, not only at what he says about men and their need to “fulfill” themselves. I’m also shocked that the editor of the journal printed it instead of telling the guy to get help.

 He seems to feel that any attraction between the sexes, although he is only concerned for men, is lust. I hope he is not saying the rapid beating of the young man’s heart when he sees a beautiful young woman means he is lusting. I hope he’s not saying that when two people first see each other, and there is that “spark” and, after 50 years of marriage, they still call it “love at first sight,” it was lust.

Is there lust? Of course. But rape is not lust. Rape is power, and anger, not lust. Lust is when, as Jesus said, one person (man) wants what is not his to have, i.e., another man’s wife or daughter.  Is the great love story in Song of Solomon (Song of Songs) a story of lust or love? There’s a lot of skin being talked about there! In Genesis 24:16 it says Abraham’s servant saw that Rebekah was “very beautiful.” Does that mean he wanted to fulfill his “urges”?

What bothers me is the writer’s choice of words. Is he really having that much trouble with other women? Does he really just want to “fulfill his urges”? Maybe. 

About the women on the cruise ship. What woman under those circumstances would do anything else? Terrorists rape, not to “fulfill urges” but to humiliate, defile, and have power. 

He seems to justify the rather frightening behavior of the young men who were angry and “wanted to get back” at women because of the way they dressed. These guys need help! In fact, they may be dangerous! Any man who sees human sexual relations as his right to “fulfill his urges” is so far off base he’s playing in a different park and not with a full deck.

 Is there something to be said about crossing the line about what is worn? Sure. Can a man or a woman “entice” the other person by what they wear? Yes. But that’s not always a sin. “The birds and the bees do it.” It becomes a sin when it is misused, or in the case of prostitution, money, and in some cases, power. Think Heidi Fleiss.

 Let’s not mess up the young person by confusing their human development. If we do that, we will have more of both sexes seeking only to “fulfill their urges.” 



Announcements: Connie Crites 

Ushers: Leena Bolin / Holly Wagner

Singing:  20 & 27 Del Bolin  

Scripture: Susan Jordan  

Communion: 20 – Keith Wagner  27- Wayne Flora


21- Wayne Flora   29- Joni Beach 


25-Lyn & Susan Jordan

26-Dillion & Laura Hogan

CONCERNS: Jim Hunter has been diagnosed with an autoimmune deficiency and will be going to UVA for further tests on September 29th.  Please continue to pray for Alisa Flora’s nephew, Ethan Gentry and her sister Melanie Gentry. Wayne Flora’s parents, Sylvus and Martha Flora, and sister, Jan. 

Teryn Gaynor’s mother Brenda Windham’s cancer has metastasized into her colon (again) and her liver. She is doing chemo and will get another scan in a couple of months. Newlywed medical student of Del Bolin, Cory, was recently diagnosed with a rare cancer. He has had two rounds of immunotherapy. Leena Bolin’s brother, Steve (Covid lung scarring), Steve’s ex-wife (possible ALS) and son (bi-polar).  Please continue to pray for Judy McWhorter’s sister, Jan, and brother-in-law, Gary Overstreet. Gary is now home. Megan Downing’s aunt, Stacey Smith, finished with her chemo treatments but will go back each week to get CT scans.  Megan’s grandmother (Bonnie Beaver) surgery went well, and she will have 3 more treatments every 3 weeks.  Erma’s sister, Lorretta, has a serious six-month oncology treatment plan that begins this week.  Also remember Erma’s Dad & Mom. Del Bolin’s mom, Carrie, has health issues.  Joni Beach’s niece, Jamie Cole. Pray for Debbie McRoy’s cousins, Linda Alsup and Erica Halford. Deanna McRoy has a kind of cancer that can return at any time.  

ALSO REMEMBER: Calesta Saunders, Alan & Joni Beach, Kerry & Sula Hay, Judd Beaver, Lebreska Whitaker, Wayne & Susan Phlegar, Nick Hodges, Ruby Crosen, Mark & Ellen Tidwell, Donte McCadden, Joni and Alan Beach’s fathers, Jo-Ellen Griffith, Sheila Jansen and daughter, Amber Weaver, and Tim Elder.


        * Movie Night – We will be showing TOY STORY,

          July 9th at 6:30 in the Annex. Please pray and get

          the word out on this weekly event. 

         *Sunday Evening:           

           We will be starting evening services on June 27th at 6:30pm for those who are unable to attend Sunday mornings.                                        


      Please join us for the study of “The Acts of God in the  Book of Acts. At 9:30 am, in person or online with YOUTUBE.  


          We continue to provide services online. The Roanoke Church of Christ YouTube channel link below:


        Join the Zoom Meeting on the study of Matthew at 7pm.

Meeting ID:  873 6718 6931


         The Mileti’s would like to thank everyone for their commitment on Thursday night for fellowship and praying through the Church’s vision statement.    

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